When Mary A. “Pink” Mullaney passed away on September 1st, she
left behind 6 children and 17 grandchildren. “Pink” was so adored by her
family that they wrote the most amazing obituary for her. Read it,
it’ll put a smile on your face:
If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop.
Consider: Mary Agnes Mullaney (you probably knew her as “Pink”) who
entered eternal life on Sunday, September 1, 2013. Her spirit is carried
on by her six children, 17 grandchildren, three surviving siblings in
New “Joisey”, and an extended family of relations and friends from every
walk of life. We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink
during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the
old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or
hang Christmas ornaments.
Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a
barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for
twenty minutes and let him stay.
Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them.
Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the
consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless
friend after mass.
Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. When you learn someone’s
name, share their patron saint’s story, and their feast day, so they can
celebrate. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. If they are from
another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to
“listen with an accent.”
Never say mean things about anybody; they are “poor souls to pray for.”
Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry
chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies
through the slats.
Correspond with the imprisoned and have lunch with the cognitively challenged.
Do the Jumble every morning.
Keep the car keys under the front seat so they don’t get lost.
Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of songs on the radio.
Offer rides to people carrying a big load or caught in the rain
or summer heat. Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a
landscaper and his name is “Peat Moss.”
Help anyone struggling to get their kids into a car or shopping cart or across a parking lot.
Give to every charity that asks. Choose to believe the best about
what they do with your money, no matter what your children say they
discovered online.
Allow the homeless to keep warm in your car while you are at Mass.
Take magazines you’ve already read to your doctors’ office for
others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, “Because if someone
wants to contact me, that would be nice.”
In her lifetime, Pink made contact time after time. Those who’ve
taken her lessons to heart will continue to ensure that a cold drink
will be left for the overheated garbage collector and mail carrier,
every baby will be kissed, every nursing home resident will be visited,
the hungry will have a sandwich, the guest will have a warm bed and soft
nightlight, and the encroaching possum will know the soothing sensation
of a barbecue brush upon its back.
Above all, Pink wrote — to everyone, about everything. You may
read this and recall a letter from her that touched your heart, tickled
your funny bone, or maybe made you say “huh?”
She is survived by her children and grandchildren whose photos
she would share with prospective friends in the checkout line: Tim (wife
Janice, children Timmy, Joey, T.J., Miki and Danny); Kevin (wife Kathy,
children Kacey, Ryan, Jordan and Kevin); Jerry (wife Gita, children
Nisha and Cathan); MaryAnne; Peter (wife Maria Jose, children Rodrigo
and Paulo); and Meg (husband David Vartanian, children Peter, Lily,
Jerry and Blase); siblings Anne, Helen, and Robert; and many in-laws,
nieces, nephews, friends and family too numerous to list but not
forgotten.
Pink is reunited with her husband and favorite dance and
political debate partner, Dr. Gerald L. Mullaney, and is predeceased by
six siblings.
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